


Human Problem

by anastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, casturbation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:07:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1570331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastiel/pseuds/anastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has a human problem and calls Dean to ask him if he can help him take care of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Human Problem

The obnoxious ringing of his cell phone startles Dean from his deep slumber. He groans loudly and gropes around blindly in the dark, trying to find the damn thing before whoever is calling decides to hang up. It must be something important if they are calling him in the middle of the night. He brushes his hand over the top of his nightstand. There’s a bottle of whiskey, a book, his Ipod and - there it is! He grabs his phone, sliding the unlock button over with his thumb and blinking at the name lit up on the screen. Cas. He sighs, propping himself up in bed on his elbow and tapping the green “answer” button.

“Yeah?” Dean says, voice husky still half-asleep.

“Dean, I have a problem,” Cas states, voice sounding tense and blatantly worried

Dean sits up abruptly in bed, pushing the phone firmer against his ear. He’s awake _now._

“What’s wrong?! Where are you?! Are you okay?!” Dean rushes out, already starting to climb out of bed so he can run down the hall to tell Sam that they have to go find Cas.

“I’m fine, Dean. I am in a hotel room somewhere in Ohio. There is nothing horribly wrong it’s just...” Cas’s voice trails off and Dean thinks he sounds embarrassed.

“So you’re not dying?” Dean asks, relaxing a little bit and feeling extremely confused.

“No, I just...”

“What?!”

“I... I have an erection and I don’t know how to take care of it,” Cas says so quietly that Dean thinks he misheard him.

“You have a what?!” Dean sputters out, almost dropping his phone.

“An erection. It happens when a man becomes sexually ar-”

“I know what an erection is, Cas,” Dean bites out. “Why are you calling me about it?” He continues, warily.

“I don’t know how to get rid of it and I figured you would know what to do,” Cas answers.

“You can’t just mojo it away or whatever?”

“I do not want to use the little grace I have to take care of a common human reaction,” Cas states obviously.

“Don’t you know how to jerk off?” Dean says and then mentally slaps himself, because now he’s picturing Cas jerking off. _Not the time, Dean._

“I know what the act entails, but I’ve never had the occasion to try it myself.”

“Not even when you were human?” Dean says a little bit shocked, because if he were just turned into a human, masturbating is one of the first things he would do.

“I simply waited for it to go away, but that doesn’t seem to be working this time, which is why I called you. I figured you might be able to help,” Cas states and there’s a pleading tone in his voice that Dean can’t say no to. Damn it.

Dean sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “Well what do you want me to do?”

“Teach me how?”

“Right now?” Dean asks, voice rising an octave.

“If that’s alright,” Cas says gruffly and Dean can hear the frustration in his voice.

He really _shouldn’t_ do this. Helping your best friend masturbate over the phone passes so far over the platonic line. Hell, he shouldn’t even _want_ to do this, but there’s a part of him that desperately wants to hear what Cas’s voice sounds like wrecked as he loses control of his body.

“Fine,” Dean consents, “But this is the only time this is happening,” He continues, as a warning to himself or Cas, he isn’t sure.

“I know,” Cas answers and - _wait a fucking second, was that sadness in his voice?_

“Okay, are you ready?” Dean asks, adjusting the phone against his ear.

“Yes,” Cas states, and it seems like his voice is deeper and more husky than normal. There’s no way in hell Dean is getting through this without jerking off too, especially when he’s already half-hard in his boxers just from listening to Cas talk.

“Do you uh... have your pants and stuff off?” He asks and _oh, great_ now he’s getting nervous.

“No... should I?” Cas asks, genuinely confused.

“Yeah. It’s a little hard to touch yourself when you still have pants on,” Dean replies with a shaky laugh.

“Oh,” Cas says and Dean hears the rustling of fabric over the phone.

“Okay, now what?” Cas asks when he’s finished removing his pants and Dean has to stop himself from rolling his eyes, because Cas is going about this like it’s a literal step-by-step process.

“Relax and just listen to me. You’re gonna feel really good, I promise.”

“I trust you,” Cas says genuinely and Dean ignores the fact that his heart does a flip-flop at the phrase.

Dean clears his throat awkwardly, “Okay so, I want you to uh.. wrap your hand around your dick and slowly start to stroke yourself.”

Cas is silent on the other end of the line and Dean waits impatiently for some kind of reaction. After few seconds he hears breathy panting over the speaker. Dean bites his lip, holding back a gasp that threatens to spill out of his lips. He slips his hand beneath the waistband of his boxers and starts to stroke himself the same way he told Cas. It gives him a thrill knowing that he is getting off in the same way Cas is. Cas moans loudly in Dean’s ear and Dean uses all of his willpower to stop himself from moaning in response.

“Cas? How ya doing?” Dean manages to get out.

“I... the feeling... has increased dramatically... what do I do?” Cas whispers and Dean can literally hear the slick-slide of Cas’s hand moving up and down his cock over the phone. Dean can’t help himself, he moans into the phone, eyes sliding shut as his head falls back against the headboard.

“Go faster,” Dean groans and Cas _whimpers_ , he fucking whimpers and says something along the lines of, “Yes, Dean.”

Dean speeds up the pace of his own hand. Every little noise he hears from Cas urges him on and he doesn’t want to stop. Fuck, he wants Cas right there with him so he can actually be touching him and making those glorious noises come out of his mouth. Then Cas starts whimpering out his name and Dean thinks he might die.

“Cas,” Dean says into the phone, except it comes out more of a breathy gasp.

“Deannnnn,” Cas moans and Dean grunts.

“Try rockin’ your hips up with your strokes it feels.... good,” Dean mutters, doing exactly what he told Cas to do to himself.

Cas gasps loudly as he tries what Dean told him to do and Dean can tell he’s close. He’s panting and now he’s starting to fucking beg.

“Deannnn, please,” Cas pleads, his voice so wrecked and he sounds so fucking sexy, Dean almost can’t handle it.

“What is it Cas? You wanna come?” Dean asks, smirking when Cas whimpers, “Yes” immediately.

It would be fun to draw Cas out and see how long Dean can make him beg for release, but not this time. Maybe next time.

Cas starts chanting his name like a prayer, pleading and Dean know he can’t last much longer.

“Cas,” Dean whispers and Cas answers him with a muffled, “Mmph?”

“Come for me.”

Cas comes with a shout of Dean’s name and the sound of him coming for the first time by his own hand pushes Dean over the edge. He comes a few seconds later, hips stuttering as he moans Cas’s name.

Dean hears Cas breathing heavily over the phone just like he is and he smiles slightly.

“You okay?” He asks, voice scratchy and rough.

“That was... amazing. Thank you, Dean,” Cas mutters, sounding dazed and spent, like he is going to fall asleep any second.

“You’re welcome,” Dean answers. “We’ll have to do that again sometime. Or... you know when you come back to the bunker, maybe I can.. actually help you.”

Dean doesn’t know why that thought left his mouth, he was just thinking allowed. Panic rises in his stomach because he might have just royally fucked up. Cas might not actually want him like that.

“But I thought you said this was never going to happen again?” Cas asks, confused.

“I didn’t mean that, I... actually really... want you,” Dean admits.

“I want you too,” Cas says and Dean grins.

“Good.”

“I’m tired,” Cas states and Dean chuckles.

“Get some sleep, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Dean says.

“Can we do that again tomorrow?” Cas wonders and Dean can hear him blushing over the phone.

“Sure, if you want.”

“But next time, I get to tell you what to do.”


	2. Next Time

Castiel’s promise of “next time” comes a hell of a lot sooner than Dean expected.

Dean is doing research in the main room of the bunker, leaning back in the wooden chair, feet propped up on the edge of the table. Sam is sitting a few feet away, his nose in a book, scouring the pages for any new information that could help them stop the dick who goes by the name of Metatron. So far they've found a lot of useless shit and Dean is fucking tired of flipping through old, dusty pages. He skimming over probably the one hundredth section he’s read about angels when his phone starts buzzing on the table next to him. He grabs his phone and automatically hits the answer button, not bothering to see who is calling.

“Deeeaaannn,” Castiel’s voice moans pornographically from the other end of the line. It startles Dean so much that he almost falls out of his chair in shock because _what the fuck Cas?_ Dean mentally curses his dick for twitching in interest at the sound of Cas’s voice. Wide-eyed, he scrambles out of his chair purposefully walking away from Sam as he fidgets with the side-button on his phone in an attempt to turn down the volume.

“Hey Cas!” Dean says overly enthusiastic and Sam looks up from the book he had been studying and regards Dean with a raised eyebrow. Dean mouths, “It’s Cas,” to Sam who merely nods at him before shaking his head and going back to reading. Dean turns away from Sam’s potential prying eyes.

“What the fuck, Cas?” Dean whispers into the phone.

“You said that we could do this again and I-I,” Cas voice pauses there and his words are replaced by a breathy sigh, “I’ve been doing some research and practicing.”

“You did research?” Dean asks, astonished. And _oh, fuck_ Cas must have adjusted the phone because now Dean can hear every single little tantalizing noise that comes out of Cas’s mouth. Cas is fucking touching himself already and it’s so horribly unfair that Dean can’t.

“Yes, I watched porn and pleasured myself,” Cas breathes out. A whimper follows and Dean has to bite his lip from cursing. The last time they talked on the phone and did _this_ was only two days ago. And Cas managed to find time with everything else going on to research and masturbate? Fuck.

Dean calculates his options. He can:

1\. Tell Cas to call back later when he is alone in his room.

2\. Decide to not give a fuck what Sam thinks and run upstairs to his room like the horny teenager he apparently is and get off with his best friend over the phone.

Right now option two is sounding a lot more ideal than option one. Especially with how wrecked Cas sounds already, Dean doesn't want to hear him come over the phone and not be able to touch himself. Dean steals a glance at Sam over his shoulder who is now looking at him with a bemused expression on his face. Ha-ha, fuck Sam.

“Dean.”

“What?”

“Touch yourself,” Cas commands and yeah, Dean is fully hard now.

“I can’t,” Dean practically whines, starting to maneuver his way toward the staircase, around the table to avoid Sam potentially seeing his very obvious erection.

“Why?” Cas growls and Dean curses under his breath.

“Because... I’m not alone,” Dean mutters into the phone, side-eyeing Sam who is now obviously holding back laughter.

“Then get alone,” Cas orders and Dean stumbles up the stairs two at a time in a rush to get to his room. He pointedly ignores Sam’s obnoxious laughter that follows him, because you know what? Sam can go fuck himself.

Dean half-runs down the hallway and bursts into his room, “Okay, I’m alone now.”

“I want you to take off your clothes and lay down on your bed, but don’t touch yourself yet; wait until I say,” Cas orders and Dean raises an eyebrow.

“Wait a second, two days ago you didn't know what you were doing and now you’re... you’re an expert or something?” Dean sputters out as he undoes his belt, tossing it to the floor.

“Like I said, I did my research.”

“I guess so, damn.”

Dean tosses the phone onto the bed for a few seconds while he takes off his jeans and pulls off his shirt. He can hear Cas moaning loudly and obscenely through the phone and if Cas’s moans aren't the hottest thing he’s ever heard, he doesn't know what is.  He hastily lays down on the bed like Cas said and puts the phone on speaker, it’s easier that way.

“Okay,” is all he says and waits for more direction, but Cas says nothing. Dean can hear the sound of Cas’s  hand sliding smoothly over his cock in a quickened pace and the little whimpers that are escaping Cas’s mouth. Dean’s cock is throbbing from not being touched and his hand itches to start stroking himself but, he can’t yet. Cas didn’t say he could.

“Cas?” Dean squeaks out when Cas’s moans start to become too much and Dean thinks that he will go crazy if he has to wait any longer.

“Yes?” Cas breathes out.

Dean’s hand flutters at his hip, his fingers gently brushing across his skin, “Can I touch myself yet?”

“Mmmmmmm... no.”

“Please?” Dean tries weakly and Dean waits for half a minute in anticipation before Cas speaks.

“I was going to make you beg, but I want to hear you moan too badly,” Cas states and Dean gulps, waiting patiently for permission.

“Go ahead,” Cas says and Dean’s hand instantly grabs his dick and gives it a few quick strokes causing a moan to leave his lips.

“Slow, go slow,” Cas commands in a growl and Dean whimpers in response. This is going to be torture.

Dean slows down the speed of his hand, tantalizingly slow; every stroke sending a jolt of pleasure down his spine. His eyes slam shut and little pleading sounds erupt from his throat.

“Caaassssss pleassseee,” Dean moans and Cas huffs out a laugh.

“Please what?” Cas asks and Dean can _hear_ him smirking over the phone.

“Let me go faster, please. I-I need to, I can’t take it,” Dean begs and his face colors when he realizes that he is, in fact, begging.

“I don’t know,” Cas muses.

Dean waits for Cas to say more but he doesn't. Well, fuck. Whatever porn Cas had been watching in the past few days is both a blessing and a curse. Because apparently it turned him into a demanding bastard who likes to be a cock-tease and make Dean do whatever he wants. Of course, Dean loves it; but that means when they actually have sex Cas is going to be ruthless.

Dean continues fisting his cock at the slow, agonizing pace Cas told him too. He’s so sensitive now and he _needs_ to go faster, but he wants to be good. He rubs his thumb over his slit and a moan escapes his mouth.

“Be good for me,” Cas breathes into the phone and Dean curses.

“I’ll be good, I promise.”

Cas is panting now and Dean can hear the rustling of sheets, which means Cas is probably thrusting his hips into his hand. Cas starts repeating his name over and over again, then he becomes incoherent, muttering phrases that sound like, “Dean, please!” Cas comes with a shout of his name and Dean starts whimpering. Cas breathes heavily into the phone for a few seconds as he comes down from his orgasm.

“Caaaaasssss,” Dean whimpers.

“Were you good? You didn't go faster did you?” Cas asks and his voice is pure sex.

“Yes,” Dean answers, trying his best not to start begging again.

“Good boy,” Cas says approvingly and Dean groans in impatience.

“You can stroke yourself as fast as you want now, but you can’t come until I say,” Cas states and he sounds like a fucking diplomat, so serious about how he wants Dean to touch himself, his voice not even shaking in the slightest.

Dean immediately starts stroking himself faster, he lets himself go and it feels fucking wonderful. Guttural moans and cries leave his throat, echoing throughout his room. There’s a fire rising in his stomach and rushing throughout his body. He’s so close, fuck he’s so close.

“Stop.”

“But!” Dean protests, hands trembling as he obedient lets them  fall to his sides, clenching the sheets around him to keep himself from touching himself. His cock is pulsating and he needs to come, right the fuck now.

“You were going to come too fast,” Cas says and his voice is syrupy smooth.

“I hate you,” Dean grumbles, biting his lip so hard he thinks he might have drawn blood.

“No you don’t, Dean. You love this,” Cas whispers seductively. Dean’s cock twitches and yeah, Cas is right - he does love this.  For a few seconds the only sound is Dean’s heavy breathing as he tries to keep himself from losing control.

“Go as fast as you can and don’t stop until you come,” Cas commands.

Dean obeys, wrapping his hand around his leaking cock and fisting his cock as fast as he possibly can. It’s way too much and way too fast, and the noises that come out of his mouth are overly loud and so pornographic he’s sure Sam can hear him downstairs. But he doesn’t care because it feels so fucking great. He comes with a strangled cry of Cas’s name, hips stuttering erratically and toes curling. He relaxes back against the pillow, letting himself breathe.

“You’re such a good boy for me, Dean,” Cas praises.

A little smile tilts up Dean’s lips and he feels a rush of warmth flow through him at Cas’s words. He likes doing what Cas tells him, they’re gonna have to do this again, but actually in person when they can touch each other.

“When can you come back?” Dean asks hopefully.

“Soon,” Cas answers, “Hopefully by this weekend,” he continues happily and Dean can picture him smiling. It makes Dean’s small smile turn into a grin. It will be fucking amazing to actually be able to hold Cas in his arms, kiss him and just fucking touch him, even if that’s all they do. Most likely they _will_ progress further than that because Dean wants him more than anything and he especially _really_ wants to have sex with him.

“I can’t wait.”


End file.
